I Owe My Mom

Something funny I found online

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION.

"Ask and you shall receive"

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC.

" Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."