Rejiggers

I just realized today that I am barely like the person I was before. My wants, have completely been altered from the things that I've wanted before. You may think that I have just completely lost direction... Its weird that I had everything planned out on paper, on a calendar and yet I still get this feeling that I'm lost. All I know is, I wanna do this. I can do it, I know. I have no one but myself to motivate me you know, and that's why I repeat that to myself everyday just to reassure myself that I CAN. But at times I can't help but feel that I am running around in circles. I dunno what I'm supposed to do and I feel like I have no purpose especially when I hear criticisms from people or their opinions. 

Let me ask you, Do you know what is life about? Sometimes I feel that I run and fill my day up with work problems then fill myself up with extremely good food and company or on days that I have no one but myself I fill myself up by getting my hair, eyebrows and nails done and then I completely shut off and forget then I wake up the next day refreshened. You may look at it as me just leaving these "problems" behind, unsolved. But that's just my way of coping and no one should care how I choose to cope. And life, life is just about how versatile you are to change and to life's metamorphosis.

I believe that our existence is composed of life altering symphonies and the test is how well you handle them. In simpler forms its just like the transition we all experienced from pre-school, nursery, elementary, high school and finally to college. It could also be the natural occurrences in life that we have no control of like one day you sleep knowing you're loved but then when you wake up the next, You've just been wronged and left alone. One day you might get your heart broken the next, you're breaking hearts. One day you might wake up and realize that someone special has passed. You just couldn't stop and give up there right? Its continuously coping. Meeting someone, falling in love, living abroad, eating in a restaurant, getting into an accident, , etc. It's just the ingredients to this colorful life of ours.

I might not know what the definite meaning of life is or what will be thrown to me next but what I know is that this is the beauty of life, how we handle these changes and how we are affected by it changes us as individuals and this small changes combined moves us forward into our route in the map of life.